Pushed Away

...Lately, I've witnessed something extremely hard to sit and watch happen, but I've had really no other choice.

 A very good friend of mine, one who means a lot to mean, is being punished by his parents for being gay. Unfortunately, this is NOT the first time I've seen this happen; in fact, it may be about the third time. I understand completely that it's not an easy thing for a parent to go through. To have to hear or find out that your son or daughter is gay cannot be easy by any means, but for NO reason whatsoever should a child be hurt mentally, physically, or emotionally by their parents of all people for this!

This close friend of mine has been through some extremely difficult trials due to his parents. It seems, at times, as if his parents could care less about who he really is, and are worried more with making him into something he's not. Into a lie. Into something painful for him to live with...Into this sense of perfection that is non-existent.

I believe our imperfections are what make us perfectly individual. We have to learn how to embrace these imperfections and become the best person we can possibly be with them, and when a parent is attempting to say there's something wrong with you, how can you ever begin to do this?

Especially being from the South, I understand the views on homosexuality, and I understand the biblical aspects of it. I understand it's a sin, as looked at from the Bible, but persecuting someone for it is not the answer. Rather, shouldn't they be embraced and comforted while they find their way.

I used to be an extremely religious person, but one thing bothered me with the church- the contradictions. I was always taught to love those around me and to certainly not be focused on the wrongs of another, and that one should always be there as a guide for those needing help and to help them find THEIR way to Christ, but this was never done. Always it was, "you're doing this wrong," and I was hurt to hear this said to me or to others. So, I quit going. I believe in a God, I truly do, but I feel some people are sending the wrong message.

This is simply what my friend's parents are doing. They're giving a wrong message to him by attempting to correct his wrongs themselves, and I do not believe this is the correct way. They've begun to push him away, and I fear, as often happens, they will push him too far. Some kids lose all relations with their parents. Others have ended their lives because they lose hope... I beg, if there are ANY parents of a gay child out there (or of a child who is just different) who happen to be reading this- LOVE YOUR CHILD NO MATTER WHAT!!! Your influence can be the most powerful and the strongest.

I didn't initially intend on this being a lecture or a Bible lesson, but rather a wish that this world would learn to accept differences in others. If someone's gay, let them be who they are and happy. Do not think you have a superior right to change them or that you are better than them because I can ASSURE you, you are not.

Open your eyes to the truth in this world, and you will see you are several steps away from achieving your dreams.

Risks

A lot of who I really am began simply with the spelling of my name-- Nic. For many years I've spelled it like many others, Nick, but I recently decided to change it. Two specific reasons drove me to do this:

1) It's how my mom has always spelled it.
2) I wanted to be different.

 You may now be asking, though, how in the world this has ANYTHING to do with my personality. It's only the spelling, but it altered the way I looked at myself. Believe it or not, changing the spelling to the rest of the world, other than my family, made me an absolute nervous wreck. I didn't want anyone to laugh at me or call me weird. Yes, I know that seems like a ridiculous fear, but it was a legit one. Once I finally took a step and did something despite what I thought the world would think, I realized it was okay to do something against what society thinks is "okay," and that ultimately society does not matter. Society in my life has simply made it horrible. You have to look, think, and live in the way the others around you say. It's ridiculous and sad.

In my opinion, we would not be where we are to day (with our growth of a nation) had it not been for people going against what those around them told them to. Now, I'm not saying we should all go against tradition or fight something just for the fun of fighting it and doing the opposite, but I am saying we shouldn't be afraid to be ourselves and step away from the "norm" to satisfy ourselves. It was a small risk, though it seemed huge at the time, but I wanted to step away from the "norm" around me and try something new. Since then I've actually been able to think to myself and say "Yes, Nic. There is a possibility that this won't turn out well, but it is NOT wrong to at least aim for it and try."

By taking risks we open opportunities to make a mistake, and with mistakes we allow ourselves the opportunities to learn.

Live your life, and don't be afraid to smile just because someone says you can't. Soon, you will realize you are only several steps away from living your dreams! =)